Little Things

​Little things make a big difference in a relationship and I’m the type of guy that loves to do the little things like that because I love to see her smile on her face. However, the way you use “she” says that this is everything a guy should do for a woman, but doesn’t suggest what the woman should do for the man.

I’m going to be honest, even if I love doing these little things, no one is creative enough to come up with something new to keep her interested at all times. There’s only so many things a man can do before he has to repeat himself (In the span of 3 years, sending a thoughtful good morning text, many of those texts are practically repeating themselves, for example). She won’t be as enthusiastic as she once was because it’s not new and she’s getting used to the attention, and even bored sometimes and making it harder for her to smile. However, the man can’t stop because she’ll notice the lack of attention too, so the man will have to keep up his game and that will exhaust him after so long. That’s why even the best of men can slow down with this stuff in a long term relationship. But don’t make it seem like slowing down is a bad thing, because he’s still putting in a lot of effort.

My problem is: What is the woman contributing to this relationship? Just because she’s a woman, doesn’t automatically mean she’s doing everything she needs to in a relationship, and it’s only the man that should go above and beyond, or in some peoples’ opinions, “what he’s supposed to do”. Even if the man is Mr. Perfect, and the woman’s soulmate, if the woman doesn’t put in the effort as well, the relationship won’t be perfect, and fail too with these modern expectations of love. Have the woman go out of her way to make the man feel appreciated when he puts in extra effort. Even if she’s tired and wants to do a rain check on that date in 30 minutes, she could try doing it with a smile on her face and saying she appreciates the thought (The perfect man wouldn’t mind because he wants what’s best for her at the time, and if rest would make her happier than a spontaneous date, then he’ll go out of his way to help her relax). She could send him texts in the morning too if she’s up first. Suggest places to go for fun together. Notice when he’s tired and want to help him relax too.

Love is a two way street, and will be best when both sides put in as much effort as they can, not just one side going above and beyond to pick up the slack the other isn’t giving. It’s easy to go above and beyond when you feel like it’s worth it, because the other person appreciates it and goes above and beyond themselves just for you. And still this is only the perfect scenario with Mr. and Mrs. Perfect. Yeah, they love to see the other happy every chance they get, and will do what they can to see it happen, and it’s as simple as that. But you’d be surprised how few can live up to that expectation. There are a lot of days in decades of marriage, and even the best people will have plenty of off days throughout that time period. You’d be surprised how many relationships would be happier if modern society lowered their expectations of a relationship to more realistic standards.

Find someone that’s fun to hang out with or to talk to, like they’re a good friend. Go out once in a while because it’s fun, not because you feel like you have to meet a quota. The woman shouldn’t get upset when a guy doesn’t ask her to go out in a relationship, because she has power in a relationship too and it’s perfectly fine for a woman to suggest a time and place to go somewhere too. Who cares if you have different tastes in music or whatever. People are individuals, with individual tastes, and if you have one or 2 things in common that makes hanging out or talking with that person fun, then that’s all you need. A man should help his woman once in a while so she’s not overworked and can be happy and relax. A woman should help her man once in a while so he’s not overworked and can be happy and relax. When there is a fight, learn how to deal with it rationally so instead of thinking of anything you can to be right, even making stuff up, both of you should try to find the root of the problem and figure out a way together on how to fix it, or at least fix the symptoms of the problem until an ultimate solution can be made. Just find someone that’s fun to hang out with, do something nice once in a while for fun and not because you have to, and learn how to handle fights rationally by trying to fix the problem together instead of finding who to blame and how to manipulate the problem so they are to blame no matter what is said. That’s all that’s needed in a successful relationship, and social media shouldn’t tell you that “the man should do this” or “the woman should do this” because then they feel like they have to do something they don’t really need to. If you to aren’t unhappy together a lot of the time, then you will turn out fine.

For a better relationship, change you’re attitude to think about the other person more, and find ways to make them happiest at the time. (If they’d rather have rest more than going out, help them rest. Take them out if you think they’ll have fun. If they had a long day, do something nice. Make them feel appreciated for what they do. This goes both ways remember) For a good relationship, just have fun hanging out together. It’s not as hard as people are trying to make it seem.

#littlethings #love #relationship #care #equality